1) The bootleg street characters walking around the main plazas. The funniest part is that when it gets really hot, they all take off their heads. You can see the poor children looking on in horror as their favorite television characters are all walking around with their heads tucked under their arms, smoking, swearing, and talking with other street characters.
2) The completely unpractical wax paper napkins found in every bar & restaurant. They actually repel water which is a ridiculous concept for a napkin.
3) Feisty Grandmas and Grandpas. Don’t underestimate Spanish Grandpas or Grandmas- they’re unpredictable, uninhibited, and outright scary at times. Do not piss them off. The only reassurance is the fact that we can outrun them.
4) Women in heels. I don’t know how they do it, but I have the upmost respect for all those crazy women walking around the city in heels all day/night long. And I’m not even just talking about the prostitutes. I see 80 year-old Spanish Grandma’s strutting their stuff in heels.
Personally, I’ve given up on wearing heels. But when I’m feeling extra snazzy, I’ll bring a pair of heels in my purse… and probably never slip them on.
5) Doing laundry sucks in general, but doing laundry in Spain is twice the hassle and surprisingly dangerous.
In order to dry clothes, I have to drag the desk chair into our bedroom, stand on the chair, and cautiously maneuver my body halfway out the window to even reach the clothesline. Doing laundry is a pretty dangerous stunt in this country. And anything dropped is a gonner- it ends up in the black hole of clothes and clothespins accumulating in the alley. It serves as a constant reminder to not mess up, because your clothes might be next.
{This is a work in progress, so I’ll continue to add to the list. If you have anything to add/ any ideas, please feel free!}
Lost in Madrid 